My Testimony

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 

Hebrews 13:5

I love this verse, and is deeply rooted in my heart. On account of from an early age I felt forsaken by my family, especially my father who decided after the emerge out of communism in Romania to work abroad to better our family welfare. This causing distress to my mother and severe depression, she was admitted in the Psychiatric Hospital in much of my childhood and the treatments lasted from several days to several weeks or months per year.

I am the youngest of my siblings, and I was conceived by my parents unexpectedly in fact, if my mother had not accept the Christian baptism a year before my birth she would actually had me aborted; but because she had confessed Jesus as Lord and Saviour in her life, she did not go through with this abomination in blight me in her womb. While still not even have the  strength to protect my right to life, Jesus protected me and loved me.

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For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.…My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; 

And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!…Psalm 139:13-17

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I do not know what God has fashioned for me in my life while still in the womb of my mother but I always felt His love and I had a desire to know Him. Especially being raised without a father in much of my childhood, I wanted so much to have a father who loves me and in whose arms I can feel protected. I remember how once as a child, I think I was 6, I cried out to God in my prayer if He wants to be my Father for my mother who gave me birth is weak and I feel unprotected. I praised Him telling: ' You, Heavenly Father anyway you're anywhere and everywhere with me but my father that You've given me here on earth can not be with me everywhere - You're a much better Father than my earthly father '

~ Sunday at Church little me taking the microphone to say a poem to the Lord ~

I liked to read the Bible and even as a child I spent time studying the Word of God, and when I encountered things I could not understand especially in the Old Testament I would tell God but who am I to criticize Thee?!

"Woe to the one who quarrels with his Maker-- An earthenware vessel among the vessels of earth! Will the clay say to the potter, 'What are you doing?' Or the thing you are making say, 'He has no hands '? Isaiah 45:9

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. 

Isaiah 55:8

And I would harmonize saying, You have your reasons God!

Once I was so scared when I read:

I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing lovingkindness to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments. Exodus 20:5-6

So, I told God if someone in my family have ever hated You. Sorry, please! But I love You and please do not hold this against me. I'm Your child!

I did not let anything discourage me in loving Him and separate me from my Heavenly Father, I believed in Him that He came in the flesh on earth and that Jesus is His Son the Savior of the world. So much I loved the Lord Jesus that when I tried to say children's prayer ~ Angel of God, my guardian dear ~ my soul grieved...

For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus. 

1 Timothy 2:5

My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father--Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. 1 John 2:1

Only Jesus is at the right hand of the Father and I gave Him the praise! I always had perseverance and trust in Him, and love for Him in my heart. And He also taught us how to pray...

The Lord's Prayer

"And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words. "So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. "Pray, then, in this way: 

'Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. 'Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. 'Give us this day our daily bread.…'And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.'…Matthew 6:7-12

Since childhood it was important for me that all my praise be to the Heavenly Father! I remember how I once tried to test to see if God really exists, and I said to Him that after the sleep I'll get at noon  to make a Barbie doll appear under the blanket I put it on the chair; I was saddened when I found no doll but it did not made ​​me lose faith in Him.

And in fact many years later after passing through many trials He proved me that I'm His lil'girl
~ a living doll ~

With me, Satan and his minions seeing the faith I have even as a child the tactic he tried on me to separate me from God was to harm me in filthy ways and in consequence of it arousing in my heart hatred for God.

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My first harm occurred at an early age just before Easter when very late in the evening my mother and aunt were still in the kitchen baking cookies but one of the recipes lacked an ingredient " Turkish delight " and against the will of my mother I convinced her that I could go to the store alone. In the store I noticed that a gypsy had his eyes on me, he approached me and stroked my hair while telling me I'm beautiful - he was drunk and bought more alcohol, I waited for him to go out of the store and a few minutes later I went out too, but he waited outside for me, his shadow was behind me and in a moment he took me in his arms, the pretext was to get me pass a bridge that was under construction, he began telling me since how long he had no sex and so on. After we crossed the bridge he put me down and tried to pull me on a dark street but I accidentally touched a wound that he had at hand and threatened me that if I touch it again he will slap me so hard. I prayed to God and I said, Lord 'I will rather die than being raped by this man - give me courage, strength and power' I took the man's hand and I press on his wound with all my/ God's strength.  Then I ran as hard as I could...

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Several years later, at age 13 I was on summer vacation to my grandmother in the village a few miles away from my hometown. I went to the "disco" village together with my good friend and neighbor from the village; a boy at the disco from another village asked if he could dance in our group, I said..' yeah! dance where you want I don't just sit in one place and dance. ' Any way...at the end of the night when I had to go home, I told my friend that I do not want to take the road through the village because it is muddy and all the dogs are barking, let's take the main road. It was pitch black; a car passed us full of boys and I felt in my soul to hide I told my friend 'Come let's hide in the cornfield' but she said 'Do not worry, I protect you' - all took place in a twinkle of an eye - the car reversed, but God already pushed me in the cornfield, my friend did not want to follow me, and from the cornfield I saw the boy from the disco who asked to dance in our group coming out of the car and asked my friend where is the other " brunette " ? She refused to say where I am and I eye witness her taking the beating for it. If I had come out of the cornfield most likely the boys would have forced me in the car, drive off and gang raped me. While she was beaten, voices were heard of other persons who were on their way home and the attacker left her and drove off..

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A few years later, when I was coming home from the city from a date I had with my then boyfriend, a man followed me and while I walked the stairs to the apartment building of my parents, this man running towards me puts his hand in the crack of my long coat catch me between the legs and throws me to the wall; wearing a short skirt with one hand he touch me in my intimate area and with the other hand holding a knife to my throat he threatened me to shut up. All this while looking down, I have not looked at him so I can ask for mercy to let me alive. I cried out to God, please do not let this disgrace happen to me and my mother and neighbors to see me raped and breathless in a pool of blood on the stairs. Suddenly with a divine force that man was thrust towards the balustrade started shaking and scared he looked at me, then ran. I could hardly walk, I crawled up to the apartment after which I screamed hysterically, I thought I was home alone but my mother was at home and was frightened by my screams after I managed to tell what happened to me she ran out to find that man but surely he disappeared from sight...

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When I was already in my early 20's, at the time I lived in Germany; I was on my way home in broad daylight taking a shortcut on a street less congested that pass through a tunnel which comes out in a park near my home at the time. I noticed a car behind me driving very slowly, three men were in the car that seemed to be from Middle East, the ice was broken after a few minutes when the man that sat in the passenger seat next to driver approached me if I want to buy perfume. I answered politely, No, thank you! He tried to lure me in by me approaching the car and put my head on the car window and see the bag of perfumes which was between his legs. Of course I refused and I stopped talking to him; I knew that if I will approach the car the man on the back seat will throw me in the car so fast with not even time to scream. He insisted so much that he became vulgar and angry towards me, I started panicking my legs went limp with fear, these three men were very robust and their faces filled with violence. I stayed far away from the curb but I saw that we are approaching the tunnel at which for certain the man would have come out of the car to grab me and throw me in the car. I was thinking already about what will become of me, beat me first, I was sure of that and I will probably never see the light of day - and I will be their rag in their sexual purposes on selling me as " living goods " - I prayed to God, the Holy One of Israel ~ Jesus ~  to help me and deliver me. Suddenly I saw coming out of the tunnel a group of young athletes boys and my heart jumped for joy, the men in the car looked to see what I saw and when they saw those youngsters gave speed towards the tunnel. Surely, I ran back to the main street, thanking God that He sent those young athletes on my way, they not even knowing that they were like a gift send to me. 

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It was very difficult for me to talk about my sexual harassment because many girls are raped or sold and I thought I would seem & sound like I would be more special in God's eyes, which is definitely not true - and even if God had allowed me to be smitten I still would have loved Him.

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Matthew 10:28

I know God can revive my body and my "fear" was and is towards those who wish to destroy my HOPE and FAITH in Jesus.

After many years in which I asked God, why did you saved me, so many times?! He replied from His own Word, the Bible...

"I will rescue those who love Me. I will protect those who trust in My name. When they call on Me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. Psalm 91:14-15

From many others events where I fell trap He saved me although I have not deserved, because even though I asked Him to be my Father, I did not have the behavior of being His daughter, my lifestyle certainly was an abomination to Him and I postponed the moment of repentance and surrender to Jesus because I wanted to enjoy life on what my heart desires. And I remember reading in the Bible...

Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes. But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment. Ecclesiastes 11:9

The last sentence til I finished read had already been hazy in my mind and I thought I had free reign from God to have fun and enjoy my youth in the ways of my heart. And to repentance I'll could come later. I allowed myself to be deceived, although I knew I sin towards Him, I tried to change Him instead of let Him change me, I knew that if...

Anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 

2 Corinthians 5:17

I knew that Jesus can change the human heart and my life will be more of Him and less of me..

“If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. Luke 9:23

And I desired to become a Model, and I thought this way I'll be admired and loved and fill the lack of love and attention that I lacked in childhood. However I did promised Jesus I will come back to Him and to show Him that I'm serious and really love Him, I'll repent, take the water baptism and let Him change me, the promise will be fulfilled after I get married!

When you make a promise to God, don't delay in following through, for God takes no pleasure in fools. Keep all the promises you make to Him. Ecclesiastes 5:4

I pretty much gamble with the final destination of my soul out of the pleasure in satisfying my own desires - my own "ME"

Although I liked to be a Model and pose provocative & sensual in underwear, bikinis and even nude never in this euphoria did I felt loved, in fact at one point I became very depressed and these are moments that I prefer to remain between me and Jesus.

Let's just say He showed me that only He is the One who loves me the most! And He fought for me, He effectively shut the doors that I was opening and not allowed me to fall, bringing me to remembrance I am the daughter of the Most High God and I belong to Him.

He came to His own, and those who were His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. 

John 1:11-13

For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, Romans 8:14-15

And I have sinned terribly before Him especially because I know Him and know His law!

I passionately kissed a woman and I entertained the thought of being bisexual but out of love for Jesus I have not pursue this lifestyle for He said:

"Haven't you read," - "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH '? "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." Matthew 19:4-6

"If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. "I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you. "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.…John 14:15-18

I remember the Holy Spirit convict me of sin and press it on the heart my rebellion. And I ceased to do nude pictures, this was the first step and after I got baptized in 2010 the first two years many other changes have occurred: No more underwear, bikinis shoots. No interest in pursuing Modeling but rather be a Model for Jesus Christ! The music I listen to is different, the movies I watch, how I dress, all my being has changed and I'm still " Under Construction "

And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

Point is, I became very sensitive to sin and my heart rejoices in the Lord, sometimes, I am like King David, just dancing before God...

And David danced before the LORD with all his might, wearing a priestly garment. 

2 Samuel 6:14

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. 

Galatians 5:22-25

Jesus heals my soul, gives me hope and His love fills my soul and gives me reason to live not for me but for Him. For life is worship and...

*...he who has lost his life for My sake will find it. Matthew 10:39

I am happily married, and I have a husband that I love and loves me very much but only Jesus, my Saviour can give me to live life to the fullest...

 I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 

John 10:10

Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this world. 

John 18:36

I desire that Jesus the King of Kings and Lords of Lords the moment I stand before Him to say:

‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your Master.’ Matthew 25:23

'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. Matthew 25:34

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 

Matthew 6:21

My treasures are in Heaven! And this is my testimony Living for my King  Jesus, from childhood until now and forever to be His child.


A message for you: Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you--unless, of course, you fail the test? 2 Corinthians 13:5